On celebrating failure.
A peer coach Leonie Gough, posted this the other day “ I’ve had to cancel my webinar, which was going to be on Friday. I have some health stuff going on which means I don’t have the energy to do the prep, or to deliver it. It was the right decision, but I still feel really sad about it.
Never mind, another ‘failure’ to tick off the list. At least there’s the summit next week so still get to speak in October.
I want to share with you the insight that came alive in me reading her beautiful post. I wanted t share it because I feel it is so relevant for all us growing and expanding consciously all the time. Every single one of you out there creating the life you desire is learning right now to create a new rapport with ‘failing’.
If this is you, read on.
“I can feel your sadness Leonie in this post. I am pausing for a moment to be with you in this space… …. …. …. I hear you
I appreciate you for writing this post, thank you I particularly appreciate you for writing this bit ” never mind, another ‘failure’ to tick off the list.”
I make myself believe that only would we be lighter on ourselves when we ‘fail’ would we be flowing with more ease.
I know I am bound to ‘fail’ a lot as I grow as a coach/biz owner. Being a business woman, working online, are still so new to me. Fail I will, a lot, I know. And like you say Leoni, never mind, onwards!
I make myself angry sometimes that school and family ‘failed’ to teach me that it’s OK to fail. He he, the irony of my feelings expressed in this sentence doesn’t escape me! I wish I was taught that when I work, when I experiment with new ideas, with new concepts, when I create, I will ‘fail’ and that is an intrinsic part of learning, of growing.
As I read your post here I wish to allow myself to ‘fail.
Often and joyously. Even more!
Like when I was a kid and I learned to ride a bike.
I still remember the determination I had then, like a fire inside me!
I wanted so much to be able to ride that bike! And that fire kept me getting back on my bike after each fall. It hurt to fall, I remember being frustrated too. Yet I went back to the process every day, with joy.
Because somehow, that little 10 year old me knew that at the end I will ride that bike, I will muster this skill. Not succeeding never crossed my mind!
I knew that when I can ride my bike I will have hours and hours of joy with my friends, I’ll be more independent, I’ll be able to get places much faster, I’ll expand my playground and by doing that I’ll be in turn larger, bigger!
Instinctively that’s what we all naturally move towards; as living beings we wish to grow and expand.
My wise 10 year old didn’t ever think once, as she fell over with her bike again and again, that she is failing. All she knew was that she has to get back on and try again. And again. And again. And in the end she did it! She still fell with her bike many times, later, after she could ride her bike really well. Even as an adult! Is that failure? Not at all! I still got the skill but life happens and sometimes the road is bumpy.
I make myself so happy that this memory came back to me, I didn’t think about my 10 years old learning to ride her bike in eons! As I write this, images and people from that time pop up in my memory incredibly fresh, I feel good in that space, in that time, those where happy days for me, sunny childhood memories. I fell so connected right now to my sweet, courageous, determined and wise 10 year old!
So, just to bring this home,
when you temporarily forget how to allow yourself to ‘fail’ with joy, go back to a time when you really really wanted to master a new skill, or get to a new stage, and remember the determination that helped you try again and again until you succeed.
In your mind, connect now with your goal and keep on connecting with it deeper and deeper until you become aware of that fire in you, the hunger, the joy of what will be once you achieved your goal. Breathe into this fire gently and grow it bigger, and bigger, until you fell clearly connected to it.
Then go out there and take that new step, try it again and again and ‘fail’ with joy, knowing that this chain of ‘failures’ is taking you closer and closer to achieving your goal.
And one day, you arrive at your goal, for sure!